Heinz - Tinytums

Toddler Tantrums

My toddler is starting to have really big tantrums, what’s the best technique to cope?
Tantrums aren’t always easy. On the whole, whether your toddler has a point or not, you want to teach them to express themselves more calmly. For this reason, you often have to ignore their tantrum, letting them know you will deal with the issue at hand once they have calmed down. This way, you aren’t rewarding bad behaviour with attention. Essentially, this is making their tantrums unsuccessful and less likely to be repeated. To do this takes discipline, every time you give in for the sake of peace and quiet, you reinforce tantrum behaviour. So have faith in yourself, you aren’t a bad parent if you let a child cry a little. At the same time, it’s important for their feelings such as anger, frustration and sadness to be acknowledged. Tell them you understand that they are angry, but you can’t help them until they can stop shouting or screaming. Dealing with tantrums is a subtle balance between letting your toddler know you love them and you understand/acknowledge their feelings but that their behaviour needs to be acceptable.

My toddler and I lock horns at meal times. How can I get him to eat in a way that doesn’t end up with us both having a tantrum?
Toddlers have their own view of the world and that will mean differences of opinion. When it comes to eating, you worry about feeding your child thoroughly and they can exploit food as one of their only sources of power. Try to involve your toddler in the choice of meal, giving them an option between two or three healthy options. If they have chosen it they are more likely to eat it. Then perhaps let them help you in some way in preparing it, and choosing their plate and cup etc. Engage them in mealtimes, offer to change the context so they can eat in the garden, or in mummy’s place at the table. Share some of your lunch to make your child feel special.

And then it is about patience, staying calm and setting fair and achievable objectives or milestones for them. Ask them to eat at least one of everything. To eat one more carrot before they can have pudding. Just small steps.  Setting regular mealtimes helps too, as well as complementing their diet with regular and healthy snacks.